Who's Eating Your Lunch???

Oily.
Grumpy.
Sticky...
Upon washing the streaking sunscreen off my face I have started to ponder my pet peeves. I think I roll through life as a happy person but veer off the road to irritation quite quickly. Actually I think my irritation mode is constantly running on idle waiting to get "pissed off".
Some things that bother me and rub me the wrong way are:

1. Summer Blues...
The way sunscreen makes my skin feel after wearing it in the bloody heat for hours. I don't even like rubbing it in on my kids anywhere near there hair, because who likes to feel that oily? Yuck!

2. The Diss...
When people have plans with you and show up like half an hour late consistently and don't bother calling. I think that reeks of rudeness. It sends a message that their time is more valuable than yours and how dare you get upset? It seems to never occur to them they are inconveniencing anyone else. Maybe they really aren't thinking beyond themselves at all. I hate that!

3. The Idiots...
Whiny gripers that only want to talk about how miserable their lives are for hours on end and then do nothing to improve it. People like that are so exhausting!

4. The Double Dater...
When you are hanging out with your buddy and they start texting someone else- like even in a movie theatre during a movie. They hold an entire conversation back and forth on-going through the night. In my book, that is also a majorly rude thing to do. If you wanna hang out then don't be on two "dates" at once. That is insulting!

5. Miss Thang...
People who try to be perfect or who are so self-important. Ugg! Makes me wanna knock them off their pedestal they are perching on. I can't stand when people say things like, " She would be pretty if...I sure would love to give her a makeover....would you look at what she's wearing...(snicker, snicker)" Good grief, Who made you fashion god? Get over yourself!

That is enough. Ahh, to vent. Purging the soul is so cleansing. I feel better already! These five are just a few things I could think of in the spur of the moment. Lord knows there are much more. What drives you crazy???

Wrestling With Myself

I am restless tonight. The lights are out...it has finally gotten dark, the kids are in bed dreaming and my hubby is out like a light as well. I am stir crazy. So why not ponder the meaning of life on ol' blogger? That sounds just fascinating:) It is a funny thing this blogging deal. I searched blogs the other day and came across someone who literally blogged only about the episode of Seinfeld he watched that day. EVERYDAY! Weird! Everyday, same thing. Everyday, no comments. That is freaky to me...crazy with his black background and red letters.

I think I can see the allure of blogging. The concept of other strangers viewing your thoughts and replying is interesting. I wonder if it is the narcissist in us all that enjoys being "fed" or stroked. Having our own personal "fan club" to pat us on the back like little puppies all lined up on our porch waiting to be thrown a bone. Hmmm, maybe I am just jaded because I lack such a following. Errr...rather, any following whatsoever. Ah me. It is strange how now I feel less pressure to concoct something interesting to say. Why bother? Now I can write about how my bebe flip flops were so adorable and expensive and how disappointing it was to discover how badly they hurt my feet. Now I can say without fear of being judged that this past Mother's Day I received a Mother of The Year award at my church and later that same week found out from the dentist my precious son has 1-2 (yup that's right, twelve) cavities and needs some capped. I feel like that adulterous pastor Jimmy Stewart. Guilty for deceiving so many. I imagine a recall on my award due to lack of information about my need to allow my son to have "chocolate milk hot" every morning for the good part of a year. Why should I not tell you that? Oh frippin' well.

I have finally made my decision that in fact I will be attending my ten year high school reunion. I think it will be fine. I am not sure how to feel about it and accept and suppose there is no set rule of thumb of how one should feel when facing seeing loads of people you A.) Lost contact with or B.) Choose never to see again (aside from the ten year reunion of course). It will be a chance to see how everyone has aged. It will be a trip to see all my classmates as "adults". The boys now men with broad shoulders and most likely soft around the middle. Now that I think of it hell, aren't we all?!! I am sure everyone will be toting around pictures of their children and I am sure none will be rocking the grill my son will be. We are just "G's" like that, you KNOW boooyyyy? I will be sure to bring my award for Mother of the Year. Take that prom queen bizzaaatch!

Regret

Looking at the picture,

faded in the frame...

Standing side by side

The smile on your face

Wonder if it's real

Wish I could go back there and give you a piece of my mind.

Wonder if I ever knew you...

Ashamed how things turned out.

Guilty to play a part of the charade.

Why do I allow myself to trust so easy?

How can things get so turned around completely?

Why is there all these undefined sides and everything is so unclear?

Everything is so unclear...

Replaying it all in my mind.

Fighting with you in my mind.

All the things I should have said,

Pour out so easily in my head.

Should have wrote you a letter,

Maybe made things better...

For the moment.

Distracts me from the present.

Should just let it lie.

Afraid it all will fade away.

Afraid to let it die.

Forgiving is the easy part.

Moving on..it is the test.

Looking back has shown me

That loving you,

That's what I did best.

Simply Me...

Where I am at in my life:

A good place

Who I most want to be in life:

A good person

How close I am to achieving that goal?

Depends on the day and the mood;)

Where am I headed?

I am opening up my life to positive things. I have been constantly shifting position to find one that "fits" me.

What do I feel about my past?

I feel like every past lesson, trial, mistake has built character inside myself. The years of wrestling and struggling are necessary for EVERYONE to truly come to full potential. In some ways you have to become a survivor...sometimes of yourself, sometimes of others. Mainly the sufferings inbed a true appreciation for the good that eventually comes.

What have I learned about friendships?

I have learned you OWN nothing. Friends are literal gifts that enhance my life. I have no hold on them or they on me. I have learned that there is a reason for boundaries and I have learned the consequences of what happens when those lines get blurred. I have learned loyalty and privacy is a gift a true friend should always come with. I have learned no matter how long you know someone you must give them the space and acceptance for them to change. Why shouldn't we? We change. Time shifts and life experiences each are the very things that mold us. And everyones experiences are unique.

What have I learned about myself?

I have learned to fight my weaknesses. To come against the things in my personality that hinder me at times from being the person I want to be. Not to just accept them and shrug it off as part of my character. I believe purposeful resistance is the only way to change. I have learned I have a purpose and I do make a difference. I am learning to be kinder to myself.

What have I learned about love?

I have learned love is all encompassing. It shifts easily between you and your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, your God. Love is faithful. Love is kind. Love is healing. Love can be counted on. The kind of love I am talking about is the real deal, not just the bubble gum machine kind- that is the "generic, knock off" version. The "worlds" version of love will leave a bitter taste in your mouth and disappointment in your heart. But when you stumble across the real thing, pure and shining it is a beautiful thing to behold. Treasure love. Treat it gently and give all yourself up to it. Love never fails.

What I have learned about God...

I have learned He is everything. Much more than my Saviour, more than my Lord, He is my peace, the answer to all my questions, doubts and fears, He is the one that meets me at the end of every road I have went down, He is the one who lifts me up from every dark cave I have stumbled upon. He is my friend. He is my guidance, my motivational speaker, my councilor...He never makes me feel like an idiot, like a failure. Infact His word reminds me of the good in myself when it seems all has forgot. He holds my hand. He is the one thing that is final. And I have just begun to crack the vastness of His glory. He is effortlessly good and true. He is everything...

Where's Waldo?

I have been pretty busy as of late wrapping up the school year for my two kids. My eyes are on the mend. We are preparing for a yard sale. The whole point of having one is to de-clutter...hmmmph! Can I just tell you my house is in complete disarray. It is as if by some magical force my house has been tipped upside down and shaken- like the effect of a snow globe when the snow settles...everywhere. I so look forward to earning MAYBE $300.00 in exchange for the mess I will get stuck organizing.

Ah well...It's summertime and the weather's easy...
One of my hubby's elderly clients gave us a 1978 motor home. FREE. With a rocking air conditioner and oven, stove, yadayada. Now we can go on those camping trips without my insisting that we sleep in the back of my honey's truck for very legit safety reasons! He is stoked. He's been fixing it up like crazy these past weeks. He is going to re-upholster the cushions and replace all the damaged wood,(it suffered a roof leak).
I still haven't caught the Pirates 3rd flick. Hopefully tonight. Somehow I have maintained avoiding finding out the ending.

Last Monday I had a great group of gal pals over to enjoy a light lunch.
(Don't be fooled, no luncheon I put on is ever "LIGHT").
We had a fun time eating in the shade by the fountain. I made the best Strawberry Lemonade! It was peaceful and fun and I have always been a firm believer in keeping in touch with your friends. I am always up to host a girls night or whatever just to spend some much needed "mommy" time with my peeps!

I REALLY want to take a vacation with a few close friends and fly to L.A. and star watch, shop and sight see. Just do everything I have always wanted to do when I am down in that area getting stuck shaking Mickey's hand! Don't get me wrong I dig Disneyland but I think there is A LOT of other great stuff to enjoy around there just for adults. Definitely a trip for the girls!