NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!

Good lord this year is passing by fast! Mother nature unfortunately played a big fat CRUEL joke on us by skipping spring altogether and going right for the juggler of Hades heat! PG&E must love it as they are raking in the big bucks ALL summer long. I have been living in various pools as of late. Bouncing from one pool to the next. Or the random lake thrown in for variety. I am pruning up incase you were wonderin'. But it is the only escape from the intense heat. Usually I am the type to just stay indoors for pretty much half the year, starting mid May and reappearing after the first rain in September. Makes for so many fun times! Ummm ...Not so much. So this year has been different. I gotta get out of my house and entertain myself and my two kids somehow. How better than a cool, crisp dip? It is second best to hanging out at the freezer section at your local Albertson's. Promise! That too can be rigorously refreshing depending on how long you can keep the freezer doors open without getting noticed. Now with July 4th nipping at our heels it is spawning much grief at our humble abode. What to do? Why is it so hard to make a flippin' plan. My husband and I always seem to have the most irritatingly difficult time deciding on a plan and committing to it. *Insert frown* We go back and forth, back and forth until inevitably it is too late and we are stuck at home with me being pissed and resentful and him watching Ultimate Fighting on the boob tube for hours on end! Let's hope not! I say lets go to the coast, he says lets pack up and brave the outdoors. Now people I just explained generally this is my hibernation time and I don't necessarily ENJOY being out in the heat ESPECIALLY when dust and smoke factor in, most likely at that point you can factor me out!
Rarely do I get a wild hair and consent to go camping. Recently I did. We actually had a great time until night came. I have this little fear of being attacked in my tent by a bear-this could be part of the anti-camping philosophy-and so I suggested we sleep in the campershell. We loaded up the truck along with my air mattress and made way to the beautiful woods...Well, sort of woods( a man made lake constitutes nature to me) All was going peachy until I realized it wasn't much cooling down that fine evening and I am a have the windows shut and the door locked kinda gal. Needless to say we packed in the back of our truck and sweated tell sun up! I slept awful and was such a bitch the next morning. I wanted to KILL something. Don't believe me? I will prove it.