Vacation's Have Taken Over My Life!!!
In the past two weeks I have traveled in the car approximately thirty eight hours strictly to and from my destinations. My butt is going numb just thinking about it!
First vacation was to my hometown in Oregon to visit my family. Specifically my grandma, Motsey who is suffering from Dementia. It was super awesome to get to see my cousin Kerri and her family who I haven't seen in 4 years. They actually reside in the home we built way back when we lived there till I turned eight. Now just a short walk down their long drive way leads to my Papa and Motsey's house they lived in way back when and continue to live in now. Up the hill lives my aunt and uncle but now days my aunt lives with Papa and Motsey to help care for Motsey and give my Papa a break.
Seeing my Motsey was very hard at first. You know how you generally are closer to one set of grandparents? Well, they were it for me. It was SO So SO sad seeing her for the first time. I was all nervous because the last time I spent with her she was fine. We both cried saying goodbye and we did our little secret sign to eachother where you take your pointer finger and middle finger and cross them to signify your closeness. This time she didn't recognize us...you could just tell. Once she hugged my little girl and looked down at her she started crying...I think it's because we look so much alike. That was all it took! I cried the ENTIRE time. Could not stop. I kept my sunglasses on and just wept. She wanted me to sit by her. We visited a bit and she remembered my husband talking HIGHLY of him. It meant a lot. Then later she came to my cousins for dinner and even on her own called me by my name. It was so nice to hear come out of her mouth. But very short lived.
Each day my cousin re-explained who we were to her. At one point my cousin said,"Isn't it so nice Ahna came to visit us?" Motsey looked at me and said,"You're Ahna?" I shook my head yes and she just layed her head on my shoulder and cried hard.
I don't regret going even with the hard, hurtful moments. We always promised to be close and made grand scheme's I would live with her one day when I grew up. Funny how things turn out. I tried once to do the "secret sign" to her but it caught no spark in her memory as I could tell. I realize from that trip love doesn't change. You don't have to fear the change of a person because the love you two share is timeless, changeless...It is always there no matter where you go, no matter if you try to stay away because reality is to painful. It is always there.